Pre Marital Syndrome

Let me first clarify: This is by no means related to me or about what I am going through. It is an entry about all that I have observed in the recent past in others, right before they were tying-the-knot.

I have celebrated more than 10 wedding ceremonies in the last 4-5 years and all of them of very close friends and/or relatives (mostly that of ladies’ and some men). The close association with the soon-to-be-married people enabled me to minutely detect the psychological alterations they had gone through superficially (because what you feel inside can only be understood by you) a couple of months right ahead of the wedding. Let me add, this might turn out to be a very sensitive piece of blog post but I can no longer control my urge to type this down.

First the one’s who managed it in a matured way.

Hundred percent of those who had stuck to that one person since the time they had fallen in love, have come out as clear winners. Most of those years of togetherness have taught them the art of being humble. These are the ones who suddenly grow up and maturate before D Day. No matter who they have brought home to their parents have been initially probably rejected or disliked. That’s the way parents are, they feel they can decide the best for their child and s/he is still too young to choose a life partner and so is bound to be wrong. The torments both go through, teach them the ground realities. These people do not pass false comments and learn to celebrate their parents’ nod or concession in the most humble and pleasant manners together with everyone around. They have their feet firmly rooted to the grounds.
Now for their counterparts, who shoot up to space and weave an imaginary and non-existent cocoon of their own.

The not so lucky ones in matters controlled by Cupid are mostly those that completely lose it. They are blinded by the entrance of that special person in their lives and end up neglecting and sometimes mistreating others in relation. A feeling of elation in graduating by some means enter their souls and they start believing that they posses the power to comment and take decisions on less luckier people. Most of them end up messing things at home and outside, in the present as well as in the future.

Let us pray:
Dear Lord Almighty, please grant us the uncontrollable piece of mind to be at peace
And empower us with the extra tablespoon of patience to bear the latter kind of relatives and friends.
Allow us to go deaf and dumb till the day they are declared Man and Wife
And deliver us from the temptations to throw back at them until then.



    On March 8, 2011 at 11:37 PM Anonymous said...

    Looks like a person's life is recognized in two parts today. Pre-marital and post-marital. All life is seen only from the perspective of love, romance, marriage and family.

    Dear Lord,
    Why did you... i mean.. what is this.. you know.. this thing about.. you see what i mean God?


    Ha ha HE is buzy :)

    By the way, nice new look :)

    On March 10, 2011 at 11:14 PM Anonymous said...

    It is also human for people to feel insecure when some body falls or rises in a relationship .May be it is just that the affected and the disaffected fail to take a pause ,look back and then look ahead beyond the way society chooses to define relationships!


    Thanks anonymous...I agree but surely not at the cost of hurting other peoples' least not those that are less luckier in matters of relationship (of whatever kind)...
    It's all about being considerate...Now that's not too much to ask for...
    After all you don't feel bad when any Tom-Dick and Harry hurt you right?
    It has to take someone real special or close to do that much harm to you...

    On March 21, 2011 at 10:03 PM Anonymous said...

    a few observations

    -- a hell of a time (of the whol;e day i mean) to give vent 2 ur opinion, considerin ofcourse that u'v been ruminatin over it for some time (as is implied)

    -- in both scenarios the ideal situation is taken.. either both r mature or both r immature.. wud love to hear ur comment on scenarios where one is different from the other.. i mean the more day-2-day affairs u kno..

    -- correct me if i'm wrong, but ur replies to most comments have appeared rather bang on.. and ur post this time is more explanatory.. together ofcourse with a frank admission to start with..
    careful..ummm.. just because of the highly sensitive nature of the topic??

    forgive me my insolence..


    @ Anonymous(March21,2011,10:03PM)-
    Thanks for your insolence. In my post, I have already written what I intended to write and I am happy to hear from you because it makes me believe that I have hit the right cords.
    However, coming back to your queries, I will just say, Statistics talks about a theory called Sampling Theory, do a little research and you will be satiated.

    BTW, did you ever treat anyone close to you wrongly before getting married? I failed to understand any other reason for your insolent comment.

    The clarification in the beginning of the post was only for friends and family (loved ones ONLY) who are literally waiting for me to speak the M word sometime soon.

    Something tells me I know you. You are right, this post was aimed at somebody, of course NOT you, because that person is not as good as you are in English and He/She is VERY special and close to me, Let me re-iterate, it cannot be you, I am NOT close to people like you.

    Do drop in your precious comments as and when you feel necessary.

    Thanks again...


    I have kinda stolen a picture from your blog.. and have already given a disclaimer for the same..
    But as i was directed to your blog by google in searching for that image i wanted as illustration for my post, I became more curious and then read this post of yours..
    i agree with you about the 2 types of people, who steadily fall in love and then decide to get married and the ones who lose by jumping into marriage in elation!!
    I was a firm believer of arrange marriages, until I read your post!!
    thanks for the enlightenment!!

    Ps.. I have written about lover versus arrange marriage before!!